Evelyn, My Heart's Desire

In The Dream ...

Look, Heaven is coming. It's drawing near. Oh how I've been anticipating this very moment for years. Finally Heaven is coming to bring my baby. In the dream, there were thousand of us, women from every nationality you could possibly think of or name, standing along this hill, looking towards Heaven, waiting for it to land. Our sweet babies awaited us. As it landed, a horn blew and off we went running. Running, running. Running towards Jesus, running to our blessing. Oh can you just imagine the anticipation, the heart we all ran with. For many of us this was our miracle baby, our rainbow baby. As for me, this was the child I had fervently prayed for after Kris and I miscarried a year into our marriage.

One Day Old

Standing in line, rejoicing with the other women, I just couldn't wait my turn. Drawing near, I could hear the laughs of joy coming from the mothers that had just been handed their new bundle of joy by Jesus. Some were twirling their babies in the air, smiling, others kneeling with gladness in their heart. Praise broke out everywhere.

My turn. I'm up. Jesus hands me Silas ... so I thought. At first look,"Wait! No! This is a girl! I should have a boy!" Panicking in the dream, I even checked her diaper to be sure. "Noooooo, It's a girl," I cried. "Lord you told me a boy, Silas! Remember?! After our miscarriage, you gave me a dream and told me to name him Silas."

Evelyn favorites, Daddy and Big Sisters

LOL! The best she would give me for her Bday Party

"I'm giving you Evelyn. She's your heart desire." As if Jesus could hear my every thought, he continued, "You desired a child, so I gave you Evelyn. For it is not time for Silas just yet. Silas

Apple of My Eye

is The Promise. Keep fast to The Promise." I was hearing everything Jesus was speaking to me, but Kris and I had already hosted a gender reveal for a boy. Everyone knew we were expecting a boy. We told the world that we were having a BOY and here Jesus was giving me a girl. This just couldn't be. In the dream I was saddened. Lastly, pleading,"Jesus, I want a son." I will never forget the tone of voice, when he responded, "Then give her back." All argument ceased. I hugged Evelyn to my chest, turned to run. I woke up out of my dream, to reality. Six months into my pregnancy, surprise its a girl, Evelyn Grace Walker.

Kisses from Daddy

Happy Birthday, to the brightest two year old that I know, our Evelyn Grace. For you are truly Mommys Heart Desire. Heaven knew your sweetness was much needed here. I'm so obsessed with you little girl. You bring our family so much Joy. I admire your love for nature. Everyday is an outside day, rain or snow, with you. You're not afraid of running, climbing, or falling. Even when you stumble and get a scrape or bruise, you're right back up, at it again. Your dimpled laughs, the tantrums you throw when life is not going your way, your love for books, the way you give hugs as if you're taking the stress away, is beauty to me. This year you've loved me through one of the lowest, most painful points of my life. Just your presence alone, fought off depression. Thank you for allowing

Getting disciplined after scribbling on the wall. #Terrific2

Mommy to cuddle with you at night, when the loneliness was too much to bear. Thank you for being so patient and gentle with me as I found my way through. I love you. Hope the weekend of celebrating you was filled with fun. My prayer is that you will be a Wise Woman for your generation and have a rich love for the Word of God. You are the light and salt of the Earth. You are a Royal Priesthood. You are Fearfully and Wonderfully made. Evelyn, in Jesus, you are a new creature, day by day becoming new. Oh how I adore everything about you. For God calls you "Angel", but I call you "Sugar". As always, my footprints are under your feet.

With Love,

Mom