.png)
Hello Ladies! Long time no post right? I've missed you guys so much. How has life been treating you all? Hopefully fair. As for me, life have been busy with a lot of sweet surprises. If you follow me on social media then you know that my husband and I are expecting our first child together, a BABY GIRL!! Yes, we had our hearts set on our son, "Silas" - that God promised us a year ago. Long story short, my husband and I had a lost early of last year, ( another story, which will be in a blog post later to come) and we prayed earnestly for a baby boy. Well not long after, God promised to bless us with a baby boy, "Silas". Once we conceived we automatically thought that this was "Silas" - Gods promise. Wrong timing sis. Obviously we ran far far ahead of God. We've been blessed with our sweet pea, a baby girl, in which I just cant wait to hold and snuggle. The struggle is real when expecting a girl, It's true what "they" say, "girls are fun and expensive." I've been having the time of my life shopping for cute dresses and onesies, decorating her nursery, and hair bows .. I can not stop buying enough of hair bows. I literally need every color in her life lol. All in all we're so excited to be expecting her and is so very thankful. Not only has it been heart softening to know that we are expecting a daughter this November, instead of a son, but it is very very VERY humbling. So now you all have it - our sweet surprise - we're expecting a Baby Girl and we're so blessed to even be graced to conceive her. She's a miracle. Our miracle.
Being a Mom To Be has its highlights, sweet moments, curves and turns. It's a very special and beautiful experience. There's not a day that doesn't go by that my husband and I don't thank God for our miracle, but there were also days where I felt very guilty about being pregnant. Before becoming pregnant I served greatly in my church home. I served on the Usher and Greeter board every Sunday. Every Monday was lent back to the Lord for prayer, every Tuesday I attended Bible study, and every Thursday I attended another prayer meeting. Yes I was a very busy bee and I loved it. I found much joy in serving Jesus. I was fine with my schedule. It worked for my family and I. However, now that I'm six month pregnant, growing a little human on the inside of me, and has gained almost 15 pounds, my energy has subsided, and my body can't just go go go like it used to anymore. Im forced to rest and pace myself. I'm a wife, my family is my first ministry. My husband still looks for me to be the keeper of our home. I'm a bonus Mom to our daughter, Lauren. She expects me to serve her and be her parent. I work 40 hours a week with my sweet babies (thats another toll on my body) they expect me to give it all I got. So my plate is pretty full. Im almost always tired. Annnnnd I'm perfectly with it! It took me a while to come to grasp with this. Naturally, we think we're Superwomen. We think we can conquer the world, or atleast we try to. I thought that even after becoming full in the mid section that I would still be able to do as I used to, and I've came to the grips that I can't. I've learned to rest and be content in Jesus. Not to be so overwhelmed with the cares of the world. Not to be so hard on myself when my body tells me to rest when my heart desires otherwise.
I remind myself when I don't make it to Tuesday night Bible Study that its ok, to rest up. Its okay to not make every prayer meeting. It's okay not to be at church on time every time, its okay to be 10 minutes late some days. It's okay to not make it out of bed until after eleven on Saturdays. It's just ok. I'm not perfect, Jesus is. I cant do it all. And I head to really get that rooted in my heart. Granted after i give birth I will get back on track of things, as the Lord leads. When the spirit of worry and discontentment would try to rest on me, I would literally start praising, singing spiritual hymns, and reminding myself that its "okay" and everything is going to be "okay." Sometimes you have to stir yourself up in the Lord. Don't beat yourself up about every little thing. Self guilt is real. But do you know what else is real? The sweet mercy that Jesus extends daily. I've learned to and still is learning to relax, let go, and let God. OMG! What will I do without my sisters in Christ that encourage my heart daily that is perfectly fine to give your body rest. You all are so appreciated. I love you all soooo much.
A couple of things I've been graced to learn during this pregnancy journey.
1) God is STILL in control. Yeah He will give you words, dreams, visions, etc, but He is STILL in control.
2) God knows your heart, the very seat of it. So when you truly desire to serve, give, or do better but certain circumstances don't allow you to do so, He will honor your hearts desire and make ways.
3) Walking with Jesus is a journey, a steady pace, not a sprint.
Jesus Is Just That Good,
Pamelia Walker
Comments