Stay Broken

"God doesn't use what he cannot break, (Proverbs 29:1) and there's no one too firm he can not shake." -Aaron McCain.

At the beginning of this year, God succeeded in breaking me. I became broken and bare before him. The very foundation that I stood on and had grown to love, was shook to its core. The things I held dearest to my heart were suddenly snatched away. For a season, I was stripped of my duty as a wife and mother. All that I depended on, all that I exalted, all that I treasured, failed. However, it was in those drastic life changes that I drew near to the Refiner and invited him into the secret places of my heart. Into the depths of my wretched soul where my hidden sin nested. In that season, God spoke and said, "Like Peter, get out of the boat and come to me." At a yielded state, I laid down my life, in hope to find it. "Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for my sake will find it." (Matthew 10:39) All for all. All that I was, all that I knew to be, all that I possessed was surrendered and exchanged for his all. I came to the end of myself and I began to chase after Jesus with all of my heart for the abundant life. Giving him a yes, he broke me, emptied me out, and set me on the path of filling me.

"The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." (John 10:10)

You say, "I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing. But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked. (Revelation 3:17) Oh how grateful, grateful, so very grateful I am that I came to the realization of how wretched and sinful I was. By no means am I saying I have arrived or that I'm perfect. I'm far beyond it. I'm still being molded, I'm still on the threshing floor (deliverance) even as I type. I'm still being stretched and purged daily. My point, we tend to think we're "ok" just the way we are. We can give a hundred excuses to why we are rude, jealous, bitter, selfish, a fornicator, rough, irritable, a gossiper, a name slander, whore monger, envious, etc. While all the long, Jesus is saying those characteristics is not of me. He's calling you lukewarm. Yet, we think we are not so bad off. Yet you're only deceiving yourself. Sis, let me be the first to say, you're pitiful, religious, and blind. You're so great at pointing the finger. In your heart you say, "At least I'm not like her. At least I'm not living in homosexuality, at least I tithe and give offering. She don't even honor the Sabbath Day. She don't go to church, at least I go to church." Oh you're so holy and sanctified. I can say this because she was me. I was religious. I prayed daily, fasted maybe twice during the year. I was faithful at keeping the pew warm. I didn't mind paying my tithes. I'd read a scripture or two to get me through, but that was about it. In my heart I was a murderer. I cursed people lives with words of destruction. I was impatient, rough with my hands, and bitter. By the grace of God I was bought low by his merciful hands. The spiritual mirror (The Word of God) was set before me and it was then that I realized how filthy my robe was. It was then that I asked God to come take out the good, the bad, and the ugly. It was then that I cried out and asked God to deliver me. I needed help. I became broken and bare before him. I became desperate for his touch. I craved his presence. It was in those moments that he took his rightful place in my heart and began to reign as Lord over my life. He began to carve out the bad seeds of bitterness. He began to mend my wounds, and heal my broken heart. I could walk and not be faint or be weary. Day by day, my strength was renewed. I took hold of the abundant life he promised to those who would trust him and yield to him.

If you're broken already, please stay. Stay dependent upon the Father. Stay near the fire. Stay surrendered. Keep your posture of worship. Continue to seek his face. Stay abiding in his presence. Certainly in this season. Stay lowly and meek. Stay washing his feet with your tears, stay hungry for more of him. Stay broken. "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." (1Peter 5:6) If you're not yet broken, if you have given your life to Jesus but haven't surrendered, I encourage you to do so. Invite him in to reside in your heart. "Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me." (Revelations 3:20) Invite him in to sup with you. When Jesus take residence in your heart, it's never to hurt you. He breaks you with gentleness and grace. He breaks you to put you in your rightful place. He breaks you to fulfill his purpose he has for you. I dare you to hold nothing back, to surrender all to his will and way. He's awaiting to prosper you in every area of your life, ... "even as your soul prosper." (3 John 1:2).

Jesus Is That Good,

Pamelia Walker